Five Habits You Should've Left in 2019 + How to Fix Them
I’ve said it a few times and I’ll say it again:
New month, new year, new decade! ✨
I don’t know about y’all, but it’s just something about all this “new” that motivating me a lot more than a typical new year does. I’ve adopted a new mindset, I’m all about my inner peace, and instead of sharing my goals for 2020, I’m working on them in complete silence. Maybe it’s because of how bad I want it, or maybe it’s because I have a real reason to make the change for once. Whatever it is, I have to thank it because it’s pulling something out of me that I’ve been lacking in regard to committing to my goals. That’s not all there is to it, though. There are a few habits that I refuse to continue on into this year. They’re not good for me, not good for my mental health, and it’s nothing that they’re contributing to my life that’s beneficial … SO BYE THEY GO. If any of them hit a little close to home, you may want to consider them left in 2019 as well.
•••
Giving yourself JUST enough time to get to work on time
I used to think that it didn’t matter what time I woke up for work as long as I got there on time. It’s still sort of true, but I know it’s something I need to fix if I want to improve my overall productivity. Being that I have such a short commute to work, I’ve really used that to fuel my laziness. I never wake up more than an hour within the time that I’m scheduled, and in that hour (which is actually 45 minutes including my drive time), I’m able to do my morning ritual, pick out what I’m wearing and get dressed, and walk out of the door. Seldom do I have the time for breakfast or to let my car warm up like responsible adults are supposed to do. I’d really like to, though. Especially on the days where I don’t go in until 12 or 1 pm. They’re my least productive because, again, I won’t wake up until hour before I’m scheduled and by the time I get home its almost 10 pm. Not to mention, my lunch break on those days isn’t until 4 pm which means I’m working of an empty stomach for half of my shift. If you were wondering, that’s a very shitty feeling (paired with the fact that the only thing I did that day was work).
I owe it to myself to be better than that. So I’m going to gradually begin waking up and getting out of bed earlier on the days that I work so I won’t keep feeling like I’m wasting days. I’d like to get to the point where I can properly stretch when I wake up, eat a full breakfast, and not have to rush out of the door in order to not be late. I’d be a good practice for anyone, but especially for my people working full-time.
2. Just letting things happen
I’d like to say that we can always control the things that happen to us with some strategic planning and extreme caution. I’d honestly, truly love to say that we had that kind of power. The power to create our literal life path including the rocks, stumps, and fallen trees that we may encounter along the way. The reality is, that’s not reality at all. We can’t control a lot of things, and it sucks. We CAN, however, control quite a bit of things. So why don’t us non confrontational people take advantage of that when the opportunity presents itself? I guess I can’t speak for all of us, but I know I’ve personally had an issue with it. I’ve let people treat me any kind of way in the past, I’ve let bullshit slide, I’ve known things were wrong but still let them happen, I’ve not been okay with things and still let them happen. It’ll become a vicious cycle that will tear you up mentally if you don’t start sticking up for yourself.
So that is exactly how you fix it. SPEAK THE F**K UP!
Tell people when they’re making you uncomfortable. When you say “no”, say it with your whooooooole chest. Don’t think twice about it, either. Call people out. Correct people. Even the simplest things should be addressed. Your nail lady isn’t doing what you asked, tell her. You’re at a restaurant and your food comes out wrong, tell them that! I want us all to realize that it is absolutely okay to speak up about things that’ll have an affect on us. You’re not wrong, you’re not mean, so you don’t have jack diddley squat to feel bad about. It’s 2020, don’t let these people try to guilt trip you.
3. Making excuses
I remember one of the very first meetings I had when I started my job last summer. Our topic of discussion was “extreme accountability.” In terms of my actual position, it’s basically saying that if something happens or doesn’t get done, and it falls in my job description, it’s my fault. It doesn’t matter if I assigned it to someone else or I ran out of time, it’s going to fall on me. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but very necessary for my personal growth. I’ll give y’all a recent example of the level of growth I’m at versus where I was this time last year. I had a friend text me saying that I needed to check on her more, and almost instantly I felt my blood begin to boil. In my head, I was wondering how selfish of a person do you have to be to try to check someone on not checking on you when you don’t even check on them?! That wasn’t my response, though. Instead, I let my blood simmer. After a few minutes, I came to the realization that what I was going through doesn’t excuse me neglecting the people I care about. So you know what I said to her?
“You’re right, I’ll do better.”
I knew I had been distant lately, so instead of flipping it on her and creating tension, I recognized where I had been wrong. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do considering I truly felt it was a selfish comment, but at the same time it really wasn’t that hard. In 2020 we all need to reach that level of growth.
Hold yourself accountable & be considerate.
Recognize where your actions or role come into play in a particular situation, and own up to it. Put your pride aside, because at the end of the day it is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to have some fault in something that is fixable. When handed a situation directly dealing with another person, such as mine, I just think it’s important to be considerate. Understand where they’re coming, communicate your feelings, and ultimately just remember we all have shit we’re going through. It’s a two-way street, so everyone involved has to get that through their heads.
4. Not making time for the things you genuinely enjoy doing
Post graduation isn’t the first time I’ve held a full-time, 40-hour work week kind of job. It is, however, the longest amount of time I’ve worked at one and I think that’s why I began feeling the way that I currently do. For at least the last two months (I’ve been in my current position for six), I’ve been feeling like the only things that I ever do are eating, working, and sleeping - then repeating. Over and over again. Even on my off days, I wasn’t writing or working on my blog … or indulging in a good book like I used to do a few years ago. Nothing was being done for the purpose of truly satisfying myself, and I’m almost a little ashamed at how long it took for me to realize that. At this point it’s nothing for me to dwell on; what’s important is the fact that I did realize it and decided to do something about it.
I simply began making the time. You should too.
Not too long ago I saw a tweet that said something along the lines of “It is okay to have hobbies. Everything doesn’t have to be done with the end goal of making a profit.” And that has really stuck with me. I just started feeling like I was dedicating my life to this job that my heart wasn’t into and completely neglecting my passion. That’s not how I was going to keep living. The saying is true that there’s no such thing as being “too busy,” because you’ll make time for what you really find important. Regardless.
5. Not making your current self a priority
I had several light bulbs flicker on inside my head at the end of 2019. I feel confident I could do an entire post on it, but I’ll limit myself to a paragraph … for now. You see, I feel a lot of us 20-somethings are completely wrapped up in setting up a good future for ourselves. We want the financial stability, the career, the life partner, and everything in between that’ll allow us to live our best lives no later than the time that we’re 30. It’s a great thing, truthfully, but at what cost? Staying at a job that we hate? Staying in a relationship because of the history? Always feeling tired, never enjoying new experiences, or just flat out feeling miserable. One of those light bulbs inside my head told me it wasn’t worth it. So I’M here to tell you it’s not worth it. This isn’t me telling you to f**k your future and let whatever happens happen, because that would basically go against the second habit that I told y’all you need to fix this year. It’s me telling you that it is absolutely okay to not always be 10 steps ahead. You don’t have to stay at that “decent-paying” job if you’re not happy. You don’t have to stay in that 5-year relationship that would’ve led to marriage. If you can afford to travel, do it. Experience that new restaurant. Experience new people. Learn to level yourself up without compromising your happiness.
That’s really all it takes. Simply doing the things that make you happy.
Once I began doing that and learned the importance of maintaining my own peace, the decisions I needed to make with the things that I’d been struggling became a whole lot clearer. They’re not going to be easy decisions to act on, but having the strength to realize that everything will be okay and you WILL be straight in the end will guide you to where you’re meant to be.
